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If I Had Tinder, My Bio Would Be …

1. No Dog, No Date ™




2. If it ain’t easy being sleazy, do the right thing and don’t try to please me.


3. Can anyone explain what a feminist is?



4. Putting the ‘pat’ in patriarchy and patronising.

5. Sleepy and stubborn.

6. GIVE ME COMPLIMENTS. I SAID GIVE ME COMPLIMENTS.

7. Women don’t expire.


8. A d*** is for life, not just for Christmas.


9. “The American Dream doesn’t work, that’s why we export it”. Name that film.


10. Ideal first date; you demonstrate an ability to accurately predict the next successful cryptocurrency, suggest that instead of dinner we invest £10 each [and independently], and two weeks later collect £250,000 of our returns on our investments. And there’s no pressure to have a second date.



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